maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Vodka?
Forever.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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