his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
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You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
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You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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