I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize
