Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
