....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
