i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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