Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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