Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize