I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
