He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
