I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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