you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
