i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
