Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
