WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
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