you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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