It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
