Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
