You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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