Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
