i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
only if we run a train.
done.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Randomize
