Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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