fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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