just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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