I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
