just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
BRING THE BAGELS
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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