Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
