I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
