I need help removing her.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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