She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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