god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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