We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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