Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
