VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I have feelings that need drinking.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Randomize
