Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
