i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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