O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
