Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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