The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
