Cold hands, warm shart.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
