What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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