Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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