why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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