My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
