Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
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I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
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Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize