That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
