Don't you send me to vm
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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