I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
