I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
