My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
