Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
