Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize