2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
