i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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