Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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