I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we're chasing vodka with high fives
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
