I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
