Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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