one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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