What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
