Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
