he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
