Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
