youre lurking in front of me
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
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it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS