OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
