In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
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woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
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I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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