There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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